There is a kind of confidence required to spend an hour talking about sex, desire and your own romantic misadventures to a room full of strangers. Temi Wilkey has it in bucket loads.
In Lover Girl, Wilkey takes us on a journey through her evolving relationship with sex and sexuality. From a more reserved, religious upbringing to a period in which sex begins to dictate rather more of her decisions, she explores what happens when the heart and the body are not on the same page.
Part stand-up, part storytelling, with a generous helping of musical karaoke, it’s a candid, funny and thought-provoking hour.
The premise is as imaginative as it is unexpected, yet Wilkey performs it with remarkable ease.
With little more than a chair and a table, Ragevan Vasan directs a production that makes effective use of its minimal staging, leaving Wilkey‘s writing and performance firmly in the spotlight.
Her writing is witty, her delivery assured and her ability to move between comedy, song and confession makes for an engaging performance. There’s also lovely spontaneity to the show. Through audience interaction and moments of improvisation, the performance feels alive, as though anything could happen. It’s a testament to Wilkey’s confidence as a performer that she can go off-script without losing the thread of her story.
The writing is one of the show’s strongest assets. Wilkey has a knack for finding humour in the absurdities of modern dating and turning them into memorable one-liners. “Curiosity doesn’t kill the cat, it awakens the kitty” is a particular highlight, while describing the dating landscape as a “cost of loving crisis” is both ridiculous and rather accurate.
Sexuality is another important thread. Identifying as bisexual, Wilkey explores desire, identity and the complicated business of navigating relationships with other people. She doesn’t shy away from the language of sex, either.
Her repeated references to the “infinity pussy” become something of a running joke. I’ll admit, I could have done with hearing it less times, but that’s perhaps more a matter of personal taste than a criticism of the show itself.
Beneath the punchlines, there are some more thoughtful questions. What happens when the things you’ve been taught to believe about sex no longer sit comfortably with what you want? How do you navigate intimacy and identity when the expectations you’ve inherited don’t necessarily reflect the person you’re becoming? Wilkey handles these subjects with a lightness that never diminishes their significance.
There’s something refreshing about a performer who can make an audience laugh while giving them something to think about.
And then there’s the ending. I’ll say little about it, because it’s one of those moments best experienced rather than explained. What I will say is that the show builds towards a climax in more ways than one. It’s an unexpected shift in tone, beautifully executed, bringing together the physicality, music, vulnerability and storytelling that have carried the performance.
It’s funny, it’s tender and, ultimately, rather moving.
Holding an audience for 60 minutes on your own is no small feat. Doing so while making them laugh, think and occasionally squirm is another matter entirely. Wilkey has the stage presence and writing acumen to pull it off.
Go and see it. Take someone with an open mind, preferably someone you’ll want to debrief with afterwards. You might find yourselves having a rather interesting conversation.
NEED TO KNOW: Lover Girl runs until 21 Nov 2026 at Soho Theatre (Soho Upstairs), 21 Dean Street, London W1D 3NE.
- Running time: 60 minutes
- Age guidance: 16+
- Performances: 8.30pm evenings; Saturday matinees at 3pm
- Tickets: From £19
